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My brain was back home before my body, even though I was still in Japan. Focusing on my Japanese life was pretty difficult in those last few days as I began planning my day trips to Madison, shopping for Christmas presents, and frantically passing emails back and forth with my parents.
Sure, I had all these ideas about what types of reverse culture shock I might feel - maybe I'd miss the hospitality of Japan, maybe I'd feel too ordinary in my old environment, or maybe I'd think the people were too rude or too aggressive. I thought maybe I'd feel out of place, or at least really confused by all the changes to my life. I considered the possibility that I might not be as loved by my loved ones as I was when I lived in the U.S.
Upon arriving, however, I quickly felt what I least expected. I felt like I'd never left. Granted, I was pretty tired and disenchanted after 12 hours on a plane, but seeing my parents wasn't overly emotional and it just kind of felt like I'd been at school for a few weeks.
While a little lack-luster, this was a good thing. It was very comfortable and I didn't have to waste any time with confusion. It also reminded me that I'm still the same person even after so many new experiences. It soothes me knowing that this life will be more or less waiting for me whenever I want to reclaim it. It's been great for perspective as well, I can see exactly how complete of a life I'd built here in the U.S. and it's a good feeling.
There are other benefits as well. I find myself with few obnoxious ego-centric stories, in fact, even less than when I went off to college. I've only really talked about my life to answer questions, and at that I find myself very mellow. There's not even a temptation toward that braggy excitement that's usually onset when someone starts talking about a big life change. Of course, this makes it really easy to interact with the people around me and I think it reassures all of us that I'm still me. It helps me focus on the things that matter, like my relationships and common ground with the people I love. Similarly, it would seem like living abroad even creates less of an emotional gap than going away to college did. For example, I never worry about whether living in Japan will make me unable to relate to my parents, whereas that's still a very real concern regarding my university experience.
Part of this mellow transition back to the States is because I've done a good job of keeping the people close to me up to speed and so there are little surprises, but I think mostly it stems from how natural my life in Japan feels. It's another thing that marks the difference between visiting a foreign country and living in a foreign country. When you're going into it like a permanent thing, it gives everyone involved a much easier story to conceptualize than a prolonged stay. There's less guesswork and high-running emotions. For that reason, I can't stress enough how different studying abroad and living abroad is. I've never studied abroad, though I wish I'd been able to, but when I talk to former study abroad participants, we have a lot of the same experiences but very different conclusions about them. I can't quite pinpoint how, but I know the differences are very distinct.
Unfortunately, the routine vibe of it all frustrates me a little because I feel so connected, which makes me want to accomplish things, and yet I know that I can't do anything to advance my life here because it's futile when I'm only here for 2 weeks. Ultimately I do wish things were a little higher energy and flashy sparkles, but in the end I'm confident that this is best for all of us. Time and communication here passes easily and for my own well-being I've been sure to keep up with Hokkaido online just like I kept up with Wisconsin when I was in Japan. I think it's important to emphasize in my own head that both places exist. I'll get more out of this experience if I don't pretend like I can turn one life off in order to focus on the other.
Sure, I had all these ideas about what types of reverse culture shock I might feel - maybe I'd miss the hospitality of Japan, maybe I'd feel too ordinary in my old environment, or maybe I'd think the people were too rude or too aggressive. I thought maybe I'd feel out of place, or at least really confused by all the changes to my life. I considered the possibility that I might not be as loved by my loved ones as I was when I lived in the U.S.
Upon arriving, however, I quickly felt what I least expected. I felt like I'd never left. Granted, I was pretty tired and disenchanted after 12 hours on a plane, but seeing my parents wasn't overly emotional and it just kind of felt like I'd been at school for a few weeks.
While a little lack-luster, this was a good thing. It was very comfortable and I didn't have to waste any time with confusion. It also reminded me that I'm still the same person even after so many new experiences. It soothes me knowing that this life will be more or less waiting for me whenever I want to reclaim it. It's been great for perspective as well, I can see exactly how complete of a life I'd built here in the U.S. and it's a good feeling.
There are other benefits as well. I find myself with few obnoxious ego-centric stories, in fact, even less than when I went off to college. I've only really talked about my life to answer questions, and at that I find myself very mellow. There's not even a temptation toward that braggy excitement that's usually onset when someone starts talking about a big life change. Of course, this makes it really easy to interact with the people around me and I think it reassures all of us that I'm still me. It helps me focus on the things that matter, like my relationships and common ground with the people I love. Similarly, it would seem like living abroad even creates less of an emotional gap than going away to college did. For example, I never worry about whether living in Japan will make me unable to relate to my parents, whereas that's still a very real concern regarding my university experience.
Part of this mellow transition back to the States is because I've done a good job of keeping the people close to me up to speed and so there are little surprises, but I think mostly it stems from how natural my life in Japan feels. It's another thing that marks the difference between visiting a foreign country and living in a foreign country. When you're going into it like a permanent thing, it gives everyone involved a much easier story to conceptualize than a prolonged stay. There's less guesswork and high-running emotions. For that reason, I can't stress enough how different studying abroad and living abroad is. I've never studied abroad, though I wish I'd been able to, but when I talk to former study abroad participants, we have a lot of the same experiences but very different conclusions about them. I can't quite pinpoint how, but I know the differences are very distinct.
Unfortunately, the routine vibe of it all frustrates me a little because I feel so connected, which makes me want to accomplish things, and yet I know that I can't do anything to advance my life here because it's futile when I'm only here for 2 weeks. Ultimately I do wish things were a little higher energy and flashy sparkles, but in the end I'm confident that this is best for all of us. Time and communication here passes easily and for my own well-being I've been sure to keep up with Hokkaido online just like I kept up with Wisconsin when I was in Japan. I think it's important to emphasize in my own head that both places exist. I'll get more out of this experience if I don't pretend like I can turn one life off in order to focus on the other.
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