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This morning on the way to work I came up behind a young high school couple walking to school. He was holding her hand and both of their hands were nestled warm in his pocket and they just walked in silence. They were charming.
I wish I knew what I was seeing though. Public displays of affection are really uncommon in Japan. I don't know if they were blatantly violating the norm, or if I happened upon what they thought was a private moment. Or maybe the cold and ice was what trumped the Japanese standard. Certainly her beet red bare knees and the 6 inches of ice on the ground would add credibility to the last theory.
Even if I didn't understand it in the same way as the other adults who passed them on the street, I still thought it was sweet. They looked very happy and comfortable - as if they'd been together for a hundred years, though they were just 16.
Speaking of which, Valentine's Day is coming. It's a little different here in Japan. On Valentine's Day, only boys get presents (usualy chocolate), all of which they must reciprocate one month later on White Day, when the girls get presents. Hand-knit scarves are also apparently very popular. You can give presents to any man in your life on Valentine's Day, but because it's a romantic holiday in my country, the whole idea makes me a little uncomfortable and so I don't think I'm going to do anything at all for any Japanese folks. Or maybe I'll do something small for both sexes in International Club or in my conversation groups. I know it breaks their traditions, but I feel weird discriminating by gender and I always have the fallback of "Well, this is what we do in America and this is English class."
There are still things I don't understand though. It makes sense to me that boys must reciprocate on White Day, but what happens when a girl didn't get something for a boy on Valentine's Day, but he wants to get her something and confess his love on White Day? Much like our own country, love is something we're all a little shy about, always being afraid to be the first to confess, no matter how sure you are of returned affections. For that reason, not getting something on Valentine's Day doesn't always mean you have no admirers. So what happens in this setting? Do boys just assume their crushes don't have the same feelings if they don't get chocolates? Is it a big faux pas to get her something for White Day even though she got you nothing? Or is it totally normal? The women do the pursuing here usually, so I guess it makes sense that the women put themselves on the line first and the men just have to react, but it still makes me wonder how it works. I mean, I guess we Americans take chances too by choosing whether or not to act, even if we do it on the same day instead of waiting a month. I don't know though, it just feels like putting those 4 weeks between just draws attention to the pressure.
I don't hate Valentine's Day, but my best have been a little boring and disappointing, and my worst have been completely uneventful. Then of course there was the embarassing time when a boy broke all the rules of the Homeroom Flower Exchange and bought "red love" carnations for both me and my best friend, who happened to be in the same homeroom, a room in which all the givers and receivers were read out loud. I didn't care enough to be humiliated, but it was a little annoying. Of course, he thought he was being chivalrous, trying to make sure all of his female friends felt loved. I was just offended. Give me something if you like me, don't give me something because you feel sorry for me. I should clarify - I believe in friends doing things for each other because they're friends, but I don't believe in doing things just because you feel like girls should have things done for them on Valentine's Day.
I always get a little surly when I hear the perpetual story of the "thoughtful" boy who sets out to buy a "secret admirer" present for an unpopular girl he has no feelings for, just to make her think someone likes her. I call that a cruel trick. A day of feeling the thrill of potential love doesn't make up for the week of depression that follows when you realize that not only did you get your hopes up for nothing, and not only are you undesired, but someone banked on the fact that you are too unfortunate to be legitimately loved by anyone else and that he should have to condescend to giving you false affections to make you feel good. But maybe that's just me - I'd rather be lonely than lied to.
That is a really sour note to end on so I refuse to stop now lol I'll have to think of something to else to write about.
The good news is that because homemade confections are popular on Japanese Valentine's Day, I can now find powdered sugar and other baking supplies for 1/3 the price because they stock them at the 100 yen shops! I'll sample them first to make sure they're decent quality, but considering that 100 yen shops are far superior to dollar stores back home, and how it's usually 300 freaking yen for a 70 gram bag of powdered sugar at the grocery store, I'm pretty damn excited. One of my goals while coming to Japan was to hone my cake decorating skills. What I didn't account for, however, was that it would cost an arm and a leg and that basic things like powdered sugar and decent cream would be impossible find! I will spend this month in my kitchen, to be certain. That thought alone makes me glad that they have two Valentine's Days here :)
I wish I knew what I was seeing though. Public displays of affection are really uncommon in Japan. I don't know if they were blatantly violating the norm, or if I happened upon what they thought was a private moment. Or maybe the cold and ice was what trumped the Japanese standard. Certainly her beet red bare knees and the 6 inches of ice on the ground would add credibility to the last theory.
Even if I didn't understand it in the same way as the other adults who passed them on the street, I still thought it was sweet. They looked very happy and comfortable - as if they'd been together for a hundred years, though they were just 16.
Speaking of which, Valentine's Day is coming. It's a little different here in Japan. On Valentine's Day, only boys get presents (usualy chocolate), all of which they must reciprocate one month later on White Day, when the girls get presents. Hand-knit scarves are also apparently very popular. You can give presents to any man in your life on Valentine's Day, but because it's a romantic holiday in my country, the whole idea makes me a little uncomfortable and so I don't think I'm going to do anything at all for any Japanese folks. Or maybe I'll do something small for both sexes in International Club or in my conversation groups. I know it breaks their traditions, but I feel weird discriminating by gender and I always have the fallback of "Well, this is what we do in America and this is English class."
There are still things I don't understand though. It makes sense to me that boys must reciprocate on White Day, but what happens when a girl didn't get something for a boy on Valentine's Day, but he wants to get her something and confess his love on White Day? Much like our own country, love is something we're all a little shy about, always being afraid to be the first to confess, no matter how sure you are of returned affections. For that reason, not getting something on Valentine's Day doesn't always mean you have no admirers. So what happens in this setting? Do boys just assume their crushes don't have the same feelings if they don't get chocolates? Is it a big faux pas to get her something for White Day even though she got you nothing? Or is it totally normal? The women do the pursuing here usually, so I guess it makes sense that the women put themselves on the line first and the men just have to react, but it still makes me wonder how it works. I mean, I guess we Americans take chances too by choosing whether or not to act, even if we do it on the same day instead of waiting a month. I don't know though, it just feels like putting those 4 weeks between just draws attention to the pressure.
I don't hate Valentine's Day, but my best have been a little boring and disappointing, and my worst have been completely uneventful. Then of course there was the embarassing time when a boy broke all the rules of the Homeroom Flower Exchange and bought "red love" carnations for both me and my best friend, who happened to be in the same homeroom, a room in which all the givers and receivers were read out loud. I didn't care enough to be humiliated, but it was a little annoying. Of course, he thought he was being chivalrous, trying to make sure all of his female friends felt loved. I was just offended. Give me something if you like me, don't give me something because you feel sorry for me. I should clarify - I believe in friends doing things for each other because they're friends, but I don't believe in doing things just because you feel like girls should have things done for them on Valentine's Day.
I always get a little surly when I hear the perpetual story of the "thoughtful" boy who sets out to buy a "secret admirer" present for an unpopular girl he has no feelings for, just to make her think someone likes her. I call that a cruel trick. A day of feeling the thrill of potential love doesn't make up for the week of depression that follows when you realize that not only did you get your hopes up for nothing, and not only are you undesired, but someone banked on the fact that you are too unfortunate to be legitimately loved by anyone else and that he should have to condescend to giving you false affections to make you feel good. But maybe that's just me - I'd rather be lonely than lied to.
That is a really sour note to end on so I refuse to stop now lol I'll have to think of something to else to write about.
The good news is that because homemade confections are popular on Japanese Valentine's Day, I can now find powdered sugar and other baking supplies for 1/3 the price because they stock them at the 100 yen shops! I'll sample them first to make sure they're decent quality, but considering that 100 yen shops are far superior to dollar stores back home, and how it's usually 300 freaking yen for a 70 gram bag of powdered sugar at the grocery store, I'm pretty damn excited. One of my goals while coming to Japan was to hone my cake decorating skills. What I didn't account for, however, was that it would cost an arm and a leg and that basic things like powdered sugar and decent cream would be impossible find! I will spend this month in my kitchen, to be certain. That thought alone makes me glad that they have two Valentine's Days here :)