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Ah, the Japanese young woman: the number one threat to the Japanese young man.
"Stephanie, how about a Japanese boyfriend?"
"That'd be ok."
"What kind of boys do you like?"
"Hm. Smart ones."
"Well, we don't really have those. Sticking to foreigners would be best, eh."
That quote came from my visit to night school yesterday. She went on to explain that Japanese men are bad because these days they don't care about anything, they can't even make choices in restaurants, and women have to call all the shots. My response was, "Honey, women call the shots for lazy men everywhere." lol
I have to admit, though things are still new, I have mixed feelings about night school. The students are less terrified and I'm able to use Japanese with them, but it's totally confusing for me to speak Japanese in class. It stresses me out a little too because I don't have the teacherly conversation skills in Japanese that I've developed in English and I keep worrying about whether or not I'll be able to understand the slang. It's like, there's a lot less pressure overall, almost none from teachers, but the students actually interact with me instead of just listening silently, so I get pressure from that side. Also, they're rough around the edges. I've always been too straight-laced to handle that well. And to make matters more awkward, some of the students are older than me, even if they're freshmen in high school and I'm a college graduate who's been working abroad for almost a year. There are obviously priviledges and socioeconomic implications with that. It'll take me some time to get used to this new classroom style, but I'm optimistic. I made some mistakes last night, but as time goes on I'll be able to prove myself.
Unfortunately since I hadn't been speaking Japanese much and spent the whole weekend speaking English, my nervousness pretty much shattered my Japanese ability, even with the teachers.
It's also fascinating to finally be out of the realm of rich kids going on to the top colleges. I'm actually starting to hear the same stories and experience the same encounters as my other ALT friends are (for better or worse). It adds another dimension to life. I only wish it had started 9 months ago, not only would it have prevented me from stagnating in my egghead high school teaching style, but I probably would've felt a little more normal all along.
Still, the emotional weight of night school is pretty heavy. It's hard to look around and see so much struggle in one place. I know people judge these students, especially in Japan. It's just like back home, some of the judgments are warranted, some aren't. Breaking out is an uphill battle. I had a conversation with a very sweet 19-year-old girl about how she lives with her boyfriend, whom she's not particularly interested in, and they fight all the time and when they fight they throw things at each other. I think the throwing is coming from both sides, but she said she has to leave the house a lot. Mind you, she's telling all this to a person she's known only 20 minutes, in a very matter-of-fact voice.
It's sad.
It's also striking to see the similarities between people who've lead rough lives in Japan and people who've lead rough lives in America. I'm not kidding, with the exception of language, they're identical down to the fashions, speech styles, scents, and interests. It really drives home the point that the more white collar people get the more complicated and rule-oriented life becomes, which allows for cultural differences in a way that blue collar life never does. In a way, developing these rules is comforting to my world view, and in a way it's terrifying. We're like a different species once we start prioritizing conformity and white collar success. And of course we are, we're living in different worlds.
I know it's not only going to take me some time to get used to teaching, but it's going to take some time getting used to interacting with the students as well. Mostly I'm going to have to work on ridding myself of my teacherly superiority. It's one thing to have it with kids who acknowledge you as an elder and to have it with adults who acknowledge you as their teacher, but it's another thing entirely to have it with your peers who aren't at all particularly interested in what you've got to teach them.
And now it's immensely confusing being dropped back into my regular life in Japan, with the overtone of my upcoming vacation and the shadow of my life back home. My goals, my accomplishments, everything I've become; It's not cohesive with what I saw last night and that's hard to swallow.
In a complete switch back to the ordinary...
The fire alarm went off this morning at school. If you thought Japanese teachers were crazy about springing into action, you should see them during a fire. It turned off again quickly because it was only set off when a student's bunson burner had gone too high, so after some milling around everybody settled. Still, in the moment of truth, I'm not sure if this spring-loaded action will lead to perfect organization or to complete panic.
Also, I start Japanese class tonight. We'll see how it goes. A few errands to run as usual; a lot of cleaning. Jackles and t3h Toine will come in about 2 days, which I can hardly believe.
I feel like I'm laying down my inner tube on the top of a slide, trying to hold it still long enough to sit as I stare down the exciting but terrifying waterslide that is my impending summer.
"Stephanie, how about a Japanese boyfriend?"
"That'd be ok."
"What kind of boys do you like?"
"Hm. Smart ones."
"Well, we don't really have those. Sticking to foreigners would be best, eh."
That quote came from my visit to night school yesterday. She went on to explain that Japanese men are bad because these days they don't care about anything, they can't even make choices in restaurants, and women have to call all the shots. My response was, "Honey, women call the shots for lazy men everywhere." lol
I have to admit, though things are still new, I have mixed feelings about night school. The students are less terrified and I'm able to use Japanese with them, but it's totally confusing for me to speak Japanese in class. It stresses me out a little too because I don't have the teacherly conversation skills in Japanese that I've developed in English and I keep worrying about whether or not I'll be able to understand the slang. It's like, there's a lot less pressure overall, almost none from teachers, but the students actually interact with me instead of just listening silently, so I get pressure from that side. Also, they're rough around the edges. I've always been too straight-laced to handle that well. And to make matters more awkward, some of the students are older than me, even if they're freshmen in high school and I'm a college graduate who's been working abroad for almost a year. There are obviously priviledges and socioeconomic implications with that. It'll take me some time to get used to this new classroom style, but I'm optimistic. I made some mistakes last night, but as time goes on I'll be able to prove myself.
Unfortunately since I hadn't been speaking Japanese much and spent the whole weekend speaking English, my nervousness pretty much shattered my Japanese ability, even with the teachers.
It's also fascinating to finally be out of the realm of rich kids going on to the top colleges. I'm actually starting to hear the same stories and experience the same encounters as my other ALT friends are (for better or worse). It adds another dimension to life. I only wish it had started 9 months ago, not only would it have prevented me from stagnating in my egghead high school teaching style, but I probably would've felt a little more normal all along.
Still, the emotional weight of night school is pretty heavy. It's hard to look around and see so much struggle in one place. I know people judge these students, especially in Japan. It's just like back home, some of the judgments are warranted, some aren't. Breaking out is an uphill battle. I had a conversation with a very sweet 19-year-old girl about how she lives with her boyfriend, whom she's not particularly interested in, and they fight all the time and when they fight they throw things at each other. I think the throwing is coming from both sides, but she said she has to leave the house a lot. Mind you, she's telling all this to a person she's known only 20 minutes, in a very matter-of-fact voice.
It's sad.
It's also striking to see the similarities between people who've lead rough lives in Japan and people who've lead rough lives in America. I'm not kidding, with the exception of language, they're identical down to the fashions, speech styles, scents, and interests. It really drives home the point that the more white collar people get the more complicated and rule-oriented life becomes, which allows for cultural differences in a way that blue collar life never does. In a way, developing these rules is comforting to my world view, and in a way it's terrifying. We're like a different species once we start prioritizing conformity and white collar success. And of course we are, we're living in different worlds.
I know it's not only going to take me some time to get used to teaching, but it's going to take some time getting used to interacting with the students as well. Mostly I'm going to have to work on ridding myself of my teacherly superiority. It's one thing to have it with kids who acknowledge you as an elder and to have it with adults who acknowledge you as their teacher, but it's another thing entirely to have it with your peers who aren't at all particularly interested in what you've got to teach them.
And now it's immensely confusing being dropped back into my regular life in Japan, with the overtone of my upcoming vacation and the shadow of my life back home. My goals, my accomplishments, everything I've become; It's not cohesive with what I saw last night and that's hard to swallow.
In a complete switch back to the ordinary...
The fire alarm went off this morning at school. If you thought Japanese teachers were crazy about springing into action, you should see them during a fire. It turned off again quickly because it was only set off when a student's bunson burner had gone too high, so after some milling around everybody settled. Still, in the moment of truth, I'm not sure if this spring-loaded action will lead to perfect organization or to complete panic.
Also, I start Japanese class tonight. We'll see how it goes. A few errands to run as usual; a lot of cleaning. Jackles and t3h Toine will come in about 2 days, which I can hardly believe.
I feel like I'm laying down my inner tube on the top of a slide, trying to hold it still long enough to sit as I stare down the exciting but terrifying waterslide that is my impending summer.
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