You Can Keep Your Sparkling Bishounen, I Brought My Own

Yesterday’s international club ended up going well. As it turned out I saw the delinquent and all her friends hanging out outside the classroom, but when I arrived they said hello but instead of coming in with me, they left after I’d entered. I don’t know what to make of that, but I don’t really care because it meant only 8 first year girls and I sat and talked for a half an hour and it was great. They’re the ones who try and they’re the ones who have good attitudes. The more I think about it, the more I don’t think I was being sensitive or there was a language barrier. I think that girl’s just rude. She could have said the exact same thing to me and if she’d had a pained smile on while she said it, it would have been a completely different message.

You know, talking about these places and things and knowing none of you know anything about them is really strange. Though there is a rare one or two of you who have been to Japan, most of you only know what I've told you and what you've seen in pictures, and furthermore none of you have been in the City by the Sea. This is weird to me, so many of you are very close to me and have always known all of my business (I don’t keep secrets). So now that I live here, everything in my being says you should know my environment and you don’t. How can you not know about the world I live in? How can there be so many worlds going on at once that have almost no overlap with the next?

It's so weird to think about fall happening in Madison right now. What the heck, I've missed over 2 months of life in the USA. For a while, part of me was all hurt and sad and weird about the idea, but mostly I’m fine with it because I'm alive here too and where there’s life there’s Life. It's just weird to think about. I've never been so far away for so long. There is some nostalgic mourning now that it’s fall though. Don’t get me wrong, Japan has its own autumn traditions that I look forward to like eating nabe and looking at leaves from the shrines, and it even has some of the same traditions as we do, especially since the weather is almost identical here in Hokkaido as it is in Wisconsin. Overall though, I just feel like something is missing when I’m not getting pumpkin spice chai, walking ankle-deep through leaves on Lathrop, and seeing my mom in orange sweaters.

But I can still do something to help you gain perspective. First, look at all my pictures. Second, watch something. Be careful though, because there are a lot of outlandish descriptions of Japan and the more “authentic” you think something is, the less authentic it probably is. There is a strong element of ancient tradition here but mostly it’s like any other city on Earth. More or less, I think life here is like the anime Whisper of the Heart. This film is not too melodramatic (other than the occupational aspirations between the main characters) and not too media washed with the perfection of television. Even the clutter in the main character’s house is pretty realistic – since Japan is not very materialistic on the whole, almost nothing ever matches. I can't find a black carpet here, because NO MATTER WHAT you buy here, it only comes in pink, blue, flower, and kitty. Seriously, not even white or beige most the time. Anyway, still I'll admit that the mess in her house does go a bit overboard, so clearly that’s nowhere near the norm and that should be kept in mind too.

But the anime is not far off, because you really do meet people with random ass talents, and various old people really do want to share their skills with you, and there really are all sorts of unmarked businesses tucked around the city. (Theresa's boss is a master shamisen player, The Canadian's landlady is a local legend and his neighborhood is named after her, CR's favorite teacher can sing enka, Josh's neighbors are international travelers who are fluent in English, the 10th grade president of the International Club at my school is also a basketball god - though you'd never guess it by looking at him, and the bar around the corner from my house has been voted Best Yakitori in all of Japan for two years running).

It's a magical place in a very ordinary way.

And as I go through life here, it's wonderful, but not as mystical as you think it is when you're reading people's blogs and looking at pictures from their FB pages (or reading manga, for that matter). This is not me in an anime where we all get up and do some dance moves during class and where the ikemen going for a lay-up at the taikai festival sparkles as he slow-motion jumps over his opponents head. This is me trying to get kids to speak English instead of dream about rock concerts, and this is me watching kids play basketball in the gym.

And yet, isn't that how it always is? It’s not a “Japan-romanticism-problem” because everywhere you go things are always romanticized on TV. TV and movies and books make life look soooo damn cool, but you can be living the exact same life and because it's yours, you're like, "this is nice, but it's not THAT." But in reality, it is. It’s exactly that, just without the proper framing and foreshadowing. I wouldn’t give up the magic and inspiration of media in a million years, but I do recognize that it creates a perspective problem and it becomes difficult for us to respect or enjoy something unless it is perfectly lit and viewed from the right angle. The grass is always greener on the other side, right? Just try to remember that life really is romantic for everyone. I may be rockin’ it out in Japan, but other than a ton of learning and culture adjustment it’s not too much different from me rockin’ it out in the States.

Well, actually there is another way to solve the problem of romanticism. Rather than bring down the fantastical, you can embrace the everyday…And I am a master at this, since in my head I insert my own sparkles on the bishounen playing basketball.

You Do Not Piss Off The Dark Knight

I just came from my first real experience teaching with the teacher I call Batman. He’s the one I stayed with on my first night here. I formerly called him Mick-sensei, but after today, he’s officially earned the switch to Batman full-time. As it turns out, not only does he talk and move like Batman, but he's just as scary as Batman.

In the past we'd done fun little stupid lessons, but this was the first real lesson I taught with him. He started yelling, like crazy full out scary shouting (not a very Japanese things to do, mind you). I kind of understand where he was coming from, I was a little annoyed by the student as well. I asked a question and he just sat there. I asked it again. I asked it in a different way. I asked it in another different way. I waited. Nuuuuttthin'. He was thinking about it, and he looked remorseful, but instead of guessing a number 1-8 or saying, "I don't know," or even "ai donnto..uh...I dunnto noo," he just sat there. Seriously, it went on for several minutes. This is my number one complaint about Japanese students – the Deer-in-Headlights mentality.

In my own classroom, things would have been different, but I'm not there to react, just there to prompt. I need to leave the reactions up to the teacher and Batman seemed content to let the kid struggle and then he all out started shouting at him. This man has a SEVERE voice. And I felt bad, because this kid was like, portly and dweeby looking, the kind you think, "Damn, you'd better be smart because there's no other excuse for your awkwardness." Reflecting on it now, I really feel bad for him, even though it's kind of his own fault.

During the exchange, I was pretty much at a loss. I didn’t have to say or do anything, but it was still a problem because I didn't know what to do with my face. I was automatically so upset by the yelling that I couldn't wipe my face blank – I’m a sensitive person, to say the least. Instead I pinballed back and forth between sympathetic attention, concern, and pain. Mostly I kept coming back to pain, I think. When the kids tuned away from us to do an exercise, he turned to me and was like, "You may not have liked my yelling, I think. But I told them this already. I told them, 'never just sit there. always answer.' He should have known better. Even 'I don't know,' is fine." I assured Batman that I understood, because really I did. But I can't not feel awkward when things like that go down. I don't blame him, but I think maybe a different style could have been easier for everyone. The kid may have deserved it, but it didn’t help the classroom’s atmosphere and the kid definitely wasn’t going to speak again after that.

Now that the first time is over, I think it'll be easier for me, since I’ll know to expect this. At least it’s not a surprise, the man is quite consistent! Fortunately at the time I knew to expect awkward disciplinary things like that from all the JET trainings and it was just a matter of relaxing and letting him take care of it in his own way. The "Not My Business," approach is the #1 recommended attitude by the JET programme – mostly because it’s the only one that really works in nearly all situations in Japan.

Still. It was scary. I’d heard him go off before on students, but then it was about cleaning and failing test scores, so I guess I assumed there was more to the story. Not to mention, nobody was watching me at the time so it didn’t matter if I was a little startled. It does make you think though, even if you believe in the disciplinarian method; if you use it too often, people will tune you out as a windbag. I think you’re better off being gentle, so that when you really mean business, you can whip it out. Like the beloved parent who only needs to rumple an eyebrow and the kid knows it’s srs biznaz. If you set your standard at Batshit Crazy, there’s nowhere to go but down.

Still, don’t judge Batman too harshly. He’s the same man who helped me find a plane ticket on one of the best airlines in the world for almost half the price of a normal ticket, and when I couldn’t work out how to buy it on my own, he put it on his credit card and trusted me to pay him in cash without batting an eyelash.