Badass Cred

Last night I got in at 11:30, turned on my water and heat, and went to bed. I didn't take off from work today because I didn't want to waste any vacation time I could spend overseas, so I've really only spent about a half an hour conscious in my apartment. I arrived at school today to find only two cars in the lot and most of the lights off. After a moment of panic and confusion, I figured out it was probably still winter break, and in that case, the Vice Principal and I are the only two people in school whose contracts say they cannot work from home during break periods. Gr-eat.

I don't have a lot of work as it is, let alone when the school has been abandoned for two weeks and will be abandoned for two more weeks. I don't see why anyone should be working at all, let alone pretending to work as the other teachers and I will be undoubtedly doing. I guess it's okay though, it's best no one looks over my shoulder as I read the stack of mail from my apartment, catch up on gmail chat with my local friends, and do other things from my personal life I'm sure I'd be doing even if I really had work to do. Expect many blog entries.

Anyway, being back in Japan is not all bad. In case there was any doubt about Japan's badassness credentials, the first thing I read when I sat down at my desk with the city's English newspaper was, "Junior Meister of Volcano." Yes, folks, my city is offering the honor of "Junior Meister of Volcano" to any junior or senior high school student willing to visit the local geology park and write an essay on how it made you feel and what you learned about volcanos. And no, it's not something that was lost in translation, they're using the word "meister" instead of using a Japanese word, even in the Japanese title.

Because of our intensive science program at my school, I can guarantee you my school will have at least 50 Junior Meisters of Volcano lol

Also, let me share with you the highlights from the "Local Events" on the next page:

1) Robot Soccer Contest, January 9th-10th.
2) 2010 Calendar Recycling Market
3) Fire Fighters New Year Parade of Fire, January 10th. I quote: "Marching and songs by the young steeplejacks group, Draining water with fire fighting vehicle."

and this is something that's not as funny, but I actually am planning to go to it...
3)Illumination Factory, January 23rd-24th. The Institute of Technology will be decorated with 20,000 colorful lights and 100 ice candles for 2 days. The event team plans to make photo cards and serve hot drinks.

Aw, a teacher who doesn't speak English just came up to me to say, "Happy New Year" in English before the traditional, "let us continue our good relationship this year too," in Japanese. It was charming :)

Additionally, I came back to find a really nice complimentary 2010 day planner from the Board of Education and a Happy New Year card from one of the English teachers' dogs lol I'm also both pleased and troubled to find the, "here you go, Foreigner" dessert wagon is up and running again. Minutes after I sat down at 8:30 this morning, one of the only 2 other people in the room came up to give me two little cakes. Then five minutes ago another teacher came up with a piece of candy for me.

I have one thing to say. Japan, let us continue our good relationship in 2010.

Japan from the U.S.

I've already mentioned how strange it was being so instantaneously comfortable when I got back home, but what's stranger yet is coming back here to Japan and still being comfortable.

It makes sense that I'm comfortable, considering that I lived here for five months already. What doesn't make sense is that it feels like home; the familiar glow of my living room lamps, navigating the sloping sidewalks, and hearing the constant drone of transportation announcements in super formal Japanese. Not like more of a home than the U.S., mind you, but the U.S. is so familiar that I can't really notice its familiarity even if I want to. Leaving Japan and coming back to it drove home the realization that the last five months really happened - I really do live here! - it wasn't just a dream or even a vacation. In my sleep deprivation and homesickness though, I have to admit that last night it creeped me out a little feeling so used to Japan; I've never had equally active worlds in two places before. My life is my life no matter where I spend it, and that's a lot to wrap one's mind around.

I spent a considerable amount of time staring at a gray wall in Narita airport waiting for my plane to Sapporo, and one of the thoughts I came up with during that time was that I'm not afraid of anything in Japan anymore. I'm really not. Something clicked back home and now not even Japanese is so scary, nor is daily life in Japanese. I know I've hit a benchmark with this trip home, I can feel it. There were so many things that intimidated me and caused hesitation before, but now I understand that risk-taking here has very low risk and very high benefit. I see great strides in my immediate future.

Which is good because I know it's my own fault that social interactions and making mistakes bother me so much. I know part of it is just my personality, but there's no reason for me to get scared and frustrated simply because I set myself up with unrealistic expecatations. Other people who know a lot less Japanese than I do have no shame about it though, so why should I feel bad even after slaughtering entire sentences? (which I never do anyway!) It's time to put on a thick skin and act like a normal human being.

I was a little worried about coming back, especially at the airport when going back felt like nothing more than impending doom separating me from my beloved Wisconsin. Then, hearing Japanese on the loudspeaker, I was reassured. The excitement of foreign language came back and I remembered that I'm living an adventuresome life. The voice of the woman on the loudspeaker triggered an echo of loudspeaker voices I'd heard before, from my first plane ride to Japan when I understood almost nothing during a layover to Thailand, to sitting in O'Hare with other new JETs about to embark, to countless 10 minute trainrides by myself downtown, to obligatory trains across the island on business trips, and to voluntary and daring walks through change-overs in three different stations on my way to seeing my friends in places I'd never been before.

Already as the day goes on and I get bombarded with the familiar sensations of daily life, I feel better and better about being back. A lot of the negativity is gone and it's almost shocking how easy of a transition it's becoming. Every once in a while I get a twinge of pain when I think of a person or thing I won't get to see for another 6-7 months, but it's nowhere near the torment of being in a place you don't want to be. I think what makes it all okay is the fact that technology keeps me so connected to the people I love. It's not perfect, but for a short-term stint it makes it bearable to be apart.

Just like before I came for the first time, the scariest part about going to Japan was trying futilely to figure out what it would be like before I got there.