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I got a little reprieve from nothingness and personal tasks today when I got to correct the advanced placement entrance essays for our incoming freshmen. Of course, it also provided some entertainment, not just busywork.
Lulz Samples:
"I have a rabbit, his color is blown."
"My father testes many tracks."
"My little sister is sauciness so I often fight her."
Furthermore, I got some intellectual stimulation as well. No joke, out of this pile of essays about the students' families, I encountered one teacher and one pharmacist, but all the other mothers are housewives. I encountered one bank man and one teacher, but all the other fathers are doctors of sorts. Well, there was also the man who "testes many tracks," though I'm not sure exactly what that implies, even potty humor aside. Still, the statistics are staggering and seeing as my school is by far the best school in the area, it appears that my school is unquestionable proof of socioeconomic continuity. Even if the Japanese education system is set up differently from ours, doctors and lawyers make doctors and lawyers. Everyone else goes to secondrate schools. I'm not exactly sure where to even begin on the housewife thing, but I'm sure it makes some kind of statement about rich families, or Japanese families, or the preferences of well-to-do men, or the state of women's equality.
Anyway, on a personal level, we're starting our new school year, which brings a number of obstacles. First and foremost on my mind is the thing about teachers in Japan changing schools every few years by government mandate. It means we just got about 25% of our staff members switched over. Seeing as it's spring break until Thursday, you never know who's going to be in the office and new faces keep poppin' up. Again with the unexpected entertainmnet, I was just sitting here at my desk, minding my own business, when I caught something out of the corner of my eye that caused me to do a double-take. The man who sits behind me is sporting a Joey Lawrence haircut and a cravat. HOLY SHIT.
As I've expressed in the past, it's been hard dealing with the transfers. I'm led to believe that Japanese people don't dread them as much as we would as U.S. folks, but there was a fair amount of Japanese people who got emotional on me as well. I found it really hard to deal with losing a few of my favorite co-workers, especially since meanwhile the 3rd years are graduating, all the other kids are growing up, there's a million parties/meeting/events/commitments, and the stress is building with new people coming in. All in all, emotions are running high and sleep is running low. Especially since at my school people tend to stick around for much longer because it's such an elite school. Seeing the end of it is difficult.
Furthermore, nobody taught me the common sentiments and goodbyes in Japanese. I hardly know what I want to say in English, let alone what is appropriate to say in Japanese, let alone how to say it. I crafted a few Japanese-style dramatic がんばる speeches for the teachers I was particularly close to. Some I didn't even get to say goodbye to, because I had no idea when their last days were.
But they're all gone now. It's just new folks left to contend with. Speaking of which, saying goodbye was difficult but pleasant, saying hello is difficult and unplesant. I'm kind of annoyed about the whole thing, because as a new person last summer I spent so much time introducing myself and building relationships and all the rest. It was a great accomplishment, I knew everyone's names and I had confidence. They knew me. They liked me. Now here I am, staring down 14 new people who don't know how to respond to me. Same thing, different semester. I can't help but feel like I've been knocked back to square one.
Some are just hesitant and busy, some probably don't realize I'm a permanent fixture around here so they don't want to take the time, and some are probably afraid of me. Regardless, in the end it means every day I'm noticing people treating me differently again. I understand, I'd probably do the same thing in avoiding a foreigner I don't know anything about, but in spite of the rationale and my understanding this rationale, it still kind of hurts my feelings that people think they can forgo the pleasantries just because of how I look. Again, it has to be making the connections, me taking the first step, me justifying myself to everyone else. This is probably a good opportunity to practice my Japanese, but on days like today when I'm tired I can't help but feel a little demoralized and set back.
Right now I'm taking it slow. Some I'll probably cross paths with, some will probably defeat their fear and approach me, and with the rest I'll suck it up and go talk to them myself. Unfortunately, I will probably have to miss the welcome party, which is the time when most of the newbs will take the opportunity to talk to us. I guess the most unfortunate thing is that I once again feel like a stranger in my own workplace, even after I worked so hard to finally get over that. What's more, I only finally got completely comfortable about 3 weeks ago. I've been stripped of my "Stephanie" title and made into "Foreigner" once again.
Lulz Samples:
"I have a rabbit, his color is blown."
"My father testes many tracks."
"My little sister is sauciness so I often fight her."
Furthermore, I got some intellectual stimulation as well. No joke, out of this pile of essays about the students' families, I encountered one teacher and one pharmacist, but all the other mothers are housewives. I encountered one bank man and one teacher, but all the other fathers are doctors of sorts. Well, there was also the man who "testes many tracks," though I'm not sure exactly what that implies, even potty humor aside. Still, the statistics are staggering and seeing as my school is by far the best school in the area, it appears that my school is unquestionable proof of socioeconomic continuity. Even if the Japanese education system is set up differently from ours, doctors and lawyers make doctors and lawyers. Everyone else goes to secondrate schools. I'm not exactly sure where to even begin on the housewife thing, but I'm sure it makes some kind of statement about rich families, or Japanese families, or the preferences of well-to-do men, or the state of women's equality.
Anyway, on a personal level, we're starting our new school year, which brings a number of obstacles. First and foremost on my mind is the thing about teachers in Japan changing schools every few years by government mandate. It means we just got about 25% of our staff members switched over. Seeing as it's spring break until Thursday, you never know who's going to be in the office and new faces keep poppin' up. Again with the unexpected entertainmnet, I was just sitting here at my desk, minding my own business, when I caught something out of the corner of my eye that caused me to do a double-take. The man who sits behind me is sporting a Joey Lawrence haircut and a cravat. HOLY SHIT.
As I've expressed in the past, it's been hard dealing with the transfers. I'm led to believe that Japanese people don't dread them as much as we would as U.S. folks, but there was a fair amount of Japanese people who got emotional on me as well. I found it really hard to deal with losing a few of my favorite co-workers, especially since meanwhile the 3rd years are graduating, all the other kids are growing up, there's a million parties/meeting/events/commitments, and the stress is building with new people coming in. All in all, emotions are running high and sleep is running low. Especially since at my school people tend to stick around for much longer because it's such an elite school. Seeing the end of it is difficult.
Furthermore, nobody taught me the common sentiments and goodbyes in Japanese. I hardly know what I want to say in English, let alone what is appropriate to say in Japanese, let alone how to say it. I crafted a few Japanese-style dramatic がんばる speeches for the teachers I was particularly close to. Some I didn't even get to say goodbye to, because I had no idea when their last days were.
But they're all gone now. It's just new folks left to contend with. Speaking of which, saying goodbye was difficult but pleasant, saying hello is difficult and unplesant. I'm kind of annoyed about the whole thing, because as a new person last summer I spent so much time introducing myself and building relationships and all the rest. It was a great accomplishment, I knew everyone's names and I had confidence. They knew me. They liked me. Now here I am, staring down 14 new people who don't know how to respond to me. Same thing, different semester. I can't help but feel like I've been knocked back to square one.
Some are just hesitant and busy, some probably don't realize I'm a permanent fixture around here so they don't want to take the time, and some are probably afraid of me. Regardless, in the end it means every day I'm noticing people treating me differently again. I understand, I'd probably do the same thing in avoiding a foreigner I don't know anything about, but in spite of the rationale and my understanding this rationale, it still kind of hurts my feelings that people think they can forgo the pleasantries just because of how I look. Again, it has to be making the connections, me taking the first step, me justifying myself to everyone else. This is probably a good opportunity to practice my Japanese, but on days like today when I'm tired I can't help but feel a little demoralized and set back.
Right now I'm taking it slow. Some I'll probably cross paths with, some will probably defeat their fear and approach me, and with the rest I'll suck it up and go talk to them myself. Unfortunately, I will probably have to miss the welcome party, which is the time when most of the newbs will take the opportunity to talk to us. I guess the most unfortunate thing is that I once again feel like a stranger in my own workplace, even after I worked so hard to finally get over that. What's more, I only finally got completely comfortable about 3 weeks ago. I've been stripped of my "Stephanie" title and made into "Foreigner" once again.
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